not knowing for sure

What’s my path? Is it a simple one?
Could it be as simple as proper food & exercise &
twice daily appointments with silence? Why twice?
Could the first be for me the product and the second for the maker?

But what will happen if I’m forgotten and therefore dead?
Will I not be resurrected to be used at least as a convenience?

And if I gain control again will I have the power to keep
the captain’s place as I do now or
will my position forever be weakened and
never will I be captain again?

Is this one of the reasons it’s called the mystery?
Is it that I can’t know for sure until I fully test the waters
to be dissolved as the dream I am?
Is not being able to have a guarantee or not knowing for sure
part and parcel of the deal?
Is not knowing for sure the broad base upon which
total surrender is built?

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