extra and expendable

Does the present fit into the category of one of the things that can be used? Is it the one and only thing that can be used?

If so, is the question What will I do with all of my newly found time? How do I go about trying to learn how to live with the situation of not knowing for sure? How can I find comfort in not having security? How do I accept it?

Do I belong completely and don’t know it? Do I belong completely and don’t feel it?
Who am I? and Why don’t I care that I might never find out?
Is it that I may be extra and expendable and don’t want to know for sure if it’s so?

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