taking the credit

Do I crave
and yet fear the
experience that will kill me?
Or is it my own lie that I’ll be killed off?

Is it that knowledge does not kill but hypnotizes
me by my weaving it into my
supporting web?

Is my trick
I protect myself
by proclaiming the idea my identity
may be murdered by some silly
attempt at bonding with
existence?

Am I
addicted to
all or nothing thinking?
Is black and white
my main
game?

Is the
ultimate approach not
through meaning but presence
and work in the giant context where meaning grows?

Can the gaps in knowledge be penetrated to experience
the unspeakable with zero
harm to me?

Do I judge out of habit and live to classify? Do I automatically
do these two things with every sense
within me but
with me

taking
the credit for
these abilities? Is it that

I’m so good at taking credit I’ve
survived in whatever
state until now?

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