smitten

I have been smitten. And just what is it that a smite does to a person? One meaning is that you are strongly attracted to another person. You know, when you are boxing and you receive a knockout punch but you don’t go down and you are left defenseless. That’s what a smite does to a person.

Is the drama to see who the smiter and the smitten are? A black and white picture has a huge gray area. With color, the same picture has the bright heavens and the dark earth at the extremes, and the colorful actions are happening in the great space between the extremes.

I’m smitten by the greatness and the plenty found between the extremes. Between birth and death, extreme joy and dreadful sorrow, opportunity and timing, and perfect surety and total ignorance.

Is everything ready and waiting but I’m paying too much attention to the extremes or have I lost my way or I don’t know where to start or am I afraid to start?

 

this living circle

What is best? To wonder about or to believe without question what comes down my mental river? Are my thoughts always the best thoughts to believe. What causes suffering? Could it be not questioning my thoughts?

Do I believe the world should be like I want it to be. And when it’s not, am I upset and unhappy and become so accustomed to this living circle that I accept it as normal and live in a state of constant dissatisfaction with reality and so don’t expect more?

Am I like a bird in a cage which has never known anything but the cage and so doesn’t miss being free or suffering? Why do I put so much faith in what I think? Am I caught in a very sophisticated trap which has at least a few perks?

If so, is out not the direction to go to escape the influence of this sophisticated trap? Must I go in to find the real? What is the real? Is it the freedom of only being, my hidden birthright, the part of me that brings forth without effort kindness and contentment? Where can I find the real? Is it everywhere yet beyond words and wrapped in silence? Is it centered in awareness? Am I a finely tuned nexus of awareness and creativity or am I describing my body, the human animal, the ant, the cow, the tree, etc.?

Can I love this wonderful and terrible humanity, to which I belong, just the way it is? What would it feel like to be comfortable in a world which has such extremes. Who would I be if I didn’t have to have? How do I go about ignoring the future and the past so that I come to rest amid the extremes.

everlasting roller coaster

Is having a good time all the time unreasonable?
Is this possible or does the game itself rule it out?

Is the idea that if the game of life is dual,
it’s an everlasting roller coaster—a symbol of the zero and the one? And do I live between them? Do I keep myself occupied trying to not crash into the extremes? Do I crave one or the other extreme? Does dual thinking miss the point?

Am I here caught in all of these thoughts
while existence patiently nurses my tiny bubble?
Is it that I’m not being fed time but awareness?
Am I breathing eating and sleeping awareness
thinking it’s time all along?

Am I a sophisticated dream while I’m awake?
If so, is this the primary and the normal state?