better now than later

How does a person keep a relationship fresh? Does the joy begin to fade when one or both parties begin to take the other for granted?

So, don’t start taking the other for granted by reminding yourself how it feels when it happens to you. To check up on a relationship, you can ask the question What would life be like for me without this relationship? Count the options.

If you feel it would be a terrible loss to loose this friend or partner, express your gratitude to the other party more often and in more ways than one. Allow your gratefulness to show.

If imagining your life without the relationship turns out to produce a good feeling, I can’t think of what to say because it’s your situation. You know to be honest and gentle.

If you ever feel you are about to be dumped, don’t be afraid to ask “Should I not call again?”or “Should we not go out again?” These questions will clear up the situation quickly by the other’s response: Why are you saying that? or “That’s a good idea.”

Better now than later.

life is a search

If life is a search for purpose and completion (often called “meaning”), what type of life is best? One type is about the desire of making lots of money and is tempting but crowded with sharks of many descriptions where large sums of money can be made and lost by participating.

There are other ways to live where there is one satisfactory completion after another and where there’s love, joy, peace, and gratitude.

Both rich and poor and almost all in-between are in existence’s constant here and now-ness and are constantly thinking, breathing, getting thirsty, working, being hungry, interacting with people, and getting older, yet we don’t know we are missing most of reality, and for humanity, it has been this way for a long-long time.

So, I ask myself, do I have to be rich or famous to live a meaningful life, and I’m thinking…of course not, living a meaningful life is what freedom is about. How do we opt out of the race for fame and/or riches for an normal, everyday life, given the chance?

Maybe by asking “Is there more to life than the race to have fame and more than enough money to survive and retire on”? Why can’t we have our cake and eat it too? Is it up to us?

Here’s the key question. Why wait to become rich or famous in order to relax and savor life? If we wait, relaxing and savoring life may never happen for us. Why do we keep straining?

Knowing we’re already home and set (not having to have the expensive toys of wealth) gives us different options. Plus, taking time to slow down can allow us to see better the speed and direction to go. Relaxation and savoring life has a way of bringing interesting thoughts and trails into our lives.

As we slow down, we are able to notice and appreciate more of what life is full of.

One can be relaxed while building a fortune if one knows a sure way to build a fortune and is willing and able to apply the knowledge without worry or stress by knowing it’s just a matter of time.

What is the need to worry or hurry when we are already content? It’s strange but true…not having to have something makes it easier to obtain.

Can unapplied knowledge come back to haunt us? Yes, it’s called guilt. It’s a psychological instrument we know how to use…by pushing it on others or having to pull it.

Notice guilt for what it is…a reminder. It bothers us or it doesn’t, depending on what it’s about. How strong can guilt be when it’s rightly ignored? Guilt is part of the “would-a” “could-a” “should-a” tradition and has a use or it wouldn’t exist.


This is a partial summary of The Tools: Transform Your Problems into Courage, Confidence, and Creativity by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels (2012-05-29). Random House, Inc.

Here’s a common objection to being grateful. Many of us are actually afraid to be happy. We are afraid we’ll stop bettering ourselves if we’re content or grateful. This is our culture moving us along naturally.

Some are willing to be called lazy in order to hang on to their worries rather than to show or feel gratefulness. (Grateful for what?!)

Yet, gratefulness brings with it positive changes.

Behind the objections to gratefulness lies a dark, pessimistic view of human beings: that we’re lazy and can only be roused to move forward by threats to our survival. In essence, this is teaching we’re motivated only by the adrenaline released when we’re scared.

only show in town

When one sees the value of a blissful eternity (as opposed to one of torture) as this amazing gift after death that isn’t even deserved, is it, with deep sincere gratitude, easier to believe in the promises and miracles? Is instilled in us a wanting to believe and a not wanting to believe posture? It’s our struggle and nature.

Are the gods who punish nonbelievers forever, just gods? What kind of a god would torture someone in a lake of fire forever?

A magical-made-up one with all power could scare folks into line long enough so its story becomes part of culture and is accepted and loved and along the way forced on bystanders for centuries.

What is the only show in town?



what is the soul

a definition:
soul =  the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being
that is regarded by many as immortal

The dictionary says a soul could also be

A person’s emotional nature
A person’s moral nature
A person’s sense of identity
The essence of something

I vote for the last definition because to me my soul is my human animal. It’s my essence. It’s the fountain which supports my floating-bubble-like existence at its top. Without it I would be no more. I would wink out of existence because that dead human animal was my creator and total support.

Of course, if a religion teaches all of its God’s magical powers are real and if this turns out to be true, then a magical God would have to begin supporting my existence so it could torture me forever or reward me forever. What are the odds of that happening?

spiritual = having to do with religion or religious beliefs (dictionary definition)

spiritual = having to do with feelings like gratitude, graciousness, and love and there are other attitudes that can yield spiritual feelings like giving or receiving justice and giving or receiving freedom. I vote for this definition.

immaterial = something beyond physical

Am I a special dream of my wonderful craft? A dream which allows my human animal (what I feel is my soul) to sail along easily in whatever society into which it is born?